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Parenting Frameworks

An intelligent meta-router that selects the optimal parenting and education framework for any situation.

Describe your situation. The system analyzes the child's age, your role, and the context to automatically select and combine the best approach from 16 evidence-based frameworks.

You do not need to know which framework to use. Just describe what is happening.

Table of Contents

Why This Exists

Parents and teachers face hundreds of situations that require different approaches. A toddler's tantrum needs a different strategy than a teenager's refusal to communicate. A child with ADHD needs a different lens than a child struggling with exam anxiety.

No single framework covers everything. But choosing the right framework requires expertise most people don't have.

Parenting Frameworks solves this. It acts as an intelligent routing layer: you describe the situation, and it selects, sequences, and integrates the right frameworks automatically.

Quick Start

/parenting My 4-year-old throws a tantrum every time we leave the playground

The system will:

  1. Detect: age 4, discipline/emotional situation, high emotion level
  2. Select: Emotion Coaching (primary) + Positive Discipline (secondary)
  3. Generate: A step-by-step strategy with conversation scripts

Installation

💡 짧은 이름: 래퍼 설정 후 /parenting으로 호출 가능

Claude Code (Recommended)

Clone this repository into your Claude Code skills directory:

# Navigate to your project's .claude/skills/ directory
cd your-project/.claude/skills/

# Clone the frameworks
git clone https://github.com/ironyjk/parenting-frameworks.git

# Or clone individual frameworks you need
cp -r parenting-frameworks/positive-discipline .
cp -r parenting-frameworks/emotion-coaching .

Each framework is a self-contained SKILL.md file that Claude Code can invoke directly.

Claude Projects

  1. Go to claude.ai and open your Project
  2. Navigate to Project Knowledge
  3. Upload the SKILL.md files from the frameworks you want to use
  4. The parenting/SKILL.md router should be uploaded first -- it orchestrates the others

Other AI Platforms

The SKILL.md files are plain Markdown with structured prompts. They work with any LLM that supports system prompts:

  1. Copy the contents of parenting/SKILL.md as your system prompt
  2. Add any sub-framework SKILL.md files as additional context
  3. The detection matrix and routing logic are embedded in the text

The 16 Frameworks

Behavioral / Discipline

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
1 Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Kind AND Firm; belonging + capability Daily discipline, family meetings, problem behavior
2 PET Thomas Gordon I-messages, active listening, no-lose method Parent-child communication, conflicts
3 CPS Ross Greene "Kids do well if they can" -- lagging skills Chronic behavior, explosive children, ADHD/ASD
4 Emotion Coaching John Gottman Acknowledge and label emotions; 5 steps Emotional outbursts, regulation skills

Parenting Strategies

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
5 Triple P Matthew Sanders 5 levels of intervention; evidence-based Systematic parenting plans, prevention
6 Attachment Parenting Bowlby / Ainsworth Secure base, sensitive responsiveness Infant attachment, separation anxiety
7 SDT Parenting Deci & Ryan Autonomy, competence, relatedness Intrinsic motivation, study conflicts

Learning / Cognitive

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
8 Retrieval Practice Roediger et al. Pull information out, don't push it in Test prep, study efficiency
9 Growth Mindset Carol Dweck Ability grows through effort Fear of failure, "I can't" mindset
10 UbD Wiggins & McTighe Backward design: goals > assessment > activities Curriculum design, learning objectives
11 PBL Larmer et al. Learn through real-world projects Inquiry learning, self-directed projects

Early Childhood

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
12 Montessori Maria Montessori Prepared environment, self-paced learning 0-6 environment, independence
13 DAP NAEYC Match expectations to developmental level Early childhood, play-based learning

Special Needs / Inclusive

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
14 UDL CAST Multiple means of representation and engagement Inclusive classrooms, diverse learners

Teacher Tools

# Framework Author Core Idea Best For
15 Formative Assessment Black & Wiliam Real-time checks during learning Comprehension checks, learning gaps
16 Differentiated Instruction Tomlinson Differentiate content, process, product Mixed classrooms, individualized teaching

Architecture

                          User describes situation
                                    |
                                    v
                    +-------------------------------+
                    |     /parenting (Router)        |
                    |                               |
                    |  1. Parse situation            |
                    |  2. Detect age, role, emotion  |
                    |  3. Match via Detection Matrix |
                    |  4. Apply Age Filter           |
                    |  5. Apply Role Filter           |
                    |  6. Design pipeline            |
                    +-------------------------------+
                          |         |         |
                          v         v         v
                    +---------+ +-------+ +--------+
                    | Primary | | Secon | | Support|
                    |Framework| | dary  | |        |
                    +---------+ +-------+ +--------+
                          |         |         |
                          v         v         v
                    +-------------------------------+
                    |     Synthesis Layer            |
                    |                               |
                    |  - Integrate outputs           |
                    |  - Resolve conflicts           |
                    |  - Cultural adaptation         |
                    |  - Conversation scripts        |
                    +-------------------------------+
                                    |
                                    v
                          Unified Strategy

How Routing Works

  1. Detection Matrix -- Keywords and patterns in the situation are matched against framework signatures (e.g., "tantrum" maps to Emotion Coaching + Positive Discipline)
  2. Age Filter -- Frameworks inappropriate for the child's age are excluded (e.g., Retrieval Practice is not applicable for ages 0-2)
  3. Role Filter -- Parent, teacher, and caregiver roles have different core framework pools
  4. Emotion Level -- Crisis situations bypass frameworks entirely; high-emotion situations restrict to Emotion Coaching and Active Listening first
  5. Pipeline Design -- Multi-framework situations are sequenced (emotions first, behavior second, structure third)
  6. Conflict Resolution -- When frameworks disagree, priority rules apply (emotions > behavior, relationship > discipline, development > expectations)

Usage Examples

Example 1: Toddler Tantrum (Age 3)

/parenting My 3-year-old screams and throws things when told "no"

Router selects: Emotion Coaching (primary) + Positive Discipline (secondary) + CPS (follow-up)

Pipeline:

  • Phase 1 (Immediate): Emotion Coaching -- "You're really angry right now. It's okay to be angry."
  • Phase 2 (After calming): Positive Discipline -- "It's okay to feel angry AND throwing things is not okay."
  • Phase 3 (Later): CPS -- If recurring, identify the lagging skill and solve collaboratively.

Example 2: Homework Refusal (Age 10)

/parenting My 10-year-old hates homework and fights us every night about it

Router selects: SDT Parenting (primary) + Growth Mindset (secondary) + Retrieval Practice (support)

Pipeline:

  • Diagnosis: SDT -- Is autonomy being crushed? Does the child feel incompetent? Is there a relationship issue with the teacher?
  • Mindset: Growth Mindset -- Shift from "I'm bad at math" to "I'm not good at this yet."
  • Method: Retrieval Practice -- Replace ineffective re-reading with active recall and spaced repetition.

Example 3: Teen Communication Breakdown (Age 14)

/parenting My 14-year-old won't talk to me anymore. Just grunts and goes to their room.

Router selects: PET (primary) + SDT Parenting (secondary) + CPS (support)

Pipeline:

  • Listening: PET -- Active listening without advising. Determine problem ownership.
  • Autonomy: SDT -- Reduce control. Expand choices. Provide rationale instead of commands.
  • Negotiation: CPS -- Use Plan B to co-create household rules.

Example 4: Classroom with Wide Skill Gaps (Teacher)

/parenting I teach 3rd grade and have students ranging from pre-K to 5th grade reading levels

Router selects: UDL (primary) + Differentiated Instruction (secondary) + Formative Assessment (support)

Pipeline:

  • Design: UDL -- Multiple means of representation and engagement. Remove barriers from the start.
  • Execution: Differentiated Instruction -- Tier content, process, and product by readiness.
  • Monitoring: Formative Assessment -- Exit tickets, traffic lights, peer teaching for real-time checks.

Age Routing Chart

Age Band Available Frameworks Primary Strategy Not Effective
0-2 (Infant) Attachment, Montessori, DAP Secure attachment is the foundation. Sensitive responsiveness. PET (no language), Retrieval Practice, Growth Mindset
3-5 (Early Childhood) Montessori, DAP, Positive Discipline, Emotion Coaching, Attachment, Triple P Label emotions, offer choices, prepared environment, play-based learning CPS (limited), UbD, PBL
6-9 (Lower Elementary) All 16 frameworks Habit formation. Growth Mindset + Retrieval Practice for learning. Positive Discipline for self-discipline. --
10-12 (Upper Elementary) All 16 frameworks Increasing autonomy demands. SDT for intrinsic motivation. PBL for inquiry. --
13-15 (Middle School) SDT, PET, CPS, Growth Mindset, Emotion Coaching, Retrieval Practice Puberty. Active listening is critical. Respect autonomy. Negotiate. Be cautious with "firm" Positive Discipline
16-18 (High School) SDT, PET, CPS, Growth Mindset, Retrieval Practice, PBL Nearly adult. Coaching mode. Maximize autonomy. Montessori (age-inappropriate), Triple P (independence phase)

For a complete age-based guide with developmental milestones, see docs/AGE-GUIDE.md.

Commands

Command Description
/parenting Full situation analysis with framework routing and integrated strategy
/parenting:select Quick framework selection -- top 3 recommendations with fit scores
/parenting:age Age-based developmental guide with applicable frameworks

Each sub-framework also has its own commands:

Framework Commands
Positive Discipline /positive-discipline, :goals, :tools, :meeting
PET /pet, :ownership, :listen, :imessage, :nolose
CPS /cps, :alsup, :planb, :plans
Emotion Coaching /emotion-coaching, :style, :steps, :vocab
Triple P /triple-p, :level, :strategies, :self-reg
Growth Mindset /growth-mindset
And 10 more... See individual framework SKILL.md files

Framework Comparison

For a detailed comparison of all 16 frameworks -- when to use each, compatibility matrix, and parent vs. teacher applicability -- see docs/FRAMEWORKS.md.

Related Projects

  • How to Talk -- Meta communication router for 16 interpersonal communication frameworks (NVC, Crucial Conversations, Never Split the Difference, etc.)
  • Counsel -- Meta-router for 14 psychological counseling frameworks (CBT, ACT, IFS, SFBT, etc.)
  • Think -- Strategic thinking router for 29 business/analysis frameworks (TOC, TRIZ, Wardley, Porter, etc.)

References

Core Texts

  1. Nelsen, J. (2006). Positive Discipline. Ballantine Books.
  2. Gordon, T. (2000). Parent Effectiveness Training. Three Rivers Press.
  3. Greene, R.W. (2014). The Explosive Child. Harper Paperbacks.
  4. Gottman, J. & DeClaire, J. (1997). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Simon & Schuster.
  5. Sanders, M.R. (2012). Every Parent. Penguin.
  6. Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base. Basic Books.
  7. Deci, E.L. & Ryan, R.M. (2017). Self-Determination Theory. Guilford Press.
  8. Brown, P.C. et al. (2014). Make It Stick. Harvard University Press.
  9. Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset. Random House.
  10. Wiggins, G. & McTighe, J. (2005). Understanding by Design. ASCD.
  11. Larmer, J. et al. (2015). Setting the Standard for PBL. ASCD.
  12. Montessori, M. (1967). The Absorbent Mind. Holt Paperbacks.
  13. NAEYC (2020). Developmentally Appropriate Practice. 4th ed.
  14. CAST (2018). UDL Guidelines version 2.2.
  15. Wiliam, D. (2011). Embedded Formative Assessment. Solution Tree Press.
  16. Tomlinson, C.A. (2014). The Differentiated Classroom. ASCD.

Integration

  • Siegel, D.J. & Bryson, T.P. (2011). The Whole-Brain Child. Delacorte Press.
  • Siegel, D.J. & Bryson, T.P. (2014). No-Drama Discipline. Bantam.

License

MIT License. See LICENSE for details.
⚡